I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
