So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
