I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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