i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
