I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
