I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
