Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
