Too much gin, very little bucket
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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