My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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