Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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