So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
