Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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