rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
