He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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