So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
