I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
