But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize