he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
