She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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