i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
