i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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