Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
