you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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