Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The air was thick with penises
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
