its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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