My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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