party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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