I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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