No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
