At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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