p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
