no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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