so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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