After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need to calm my uterus...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
