I just pynch a tree in the face
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
