Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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