you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
