we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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