Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
