Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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