white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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