she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
ttyl tear gas
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
