i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
