You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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