She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
