someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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