I think I died a long time ago.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
