they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
