I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
