Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
