Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
