He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
