so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
