"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
